nibbles
Member Level 2
TML Mommy *hugs*
Marijuana on one. Reefer on two.
Posts: 392
|
Post by nibbles on Dec 13, 2006 11:23:29 GMT -5
Kimmy...I thought of you with this one!
A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!"
The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?"
"Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get the hell out."
|
|
|
|
Post by Missy on Jun 3, 2007 17:07:15 GMT -5
My sister-in-law sent me this. (Some of these are a bit crude.)
The Why's of Men
1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
Because they are plugged into a genius
2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
They don't have enough time
3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
They don't stop to ask directions
4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
Because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock
5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
So they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties
6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
You need a rough draft before you make a final copy
7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
Don't know.....it never happened
8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn
|
|
kissybear
New Member
horny little devil is'nt he...
Posts: 2
|
Post by kissybear on Jul 11, 2007 7:35:07 GMT -5
LOL funny stuff here i laughed my way to the end i just wished i could remember all my jokes from when i was a kid if i think hard enough i just might remember one....hmmm...
ok heres one it kinda long but worth it!! just remember it next time you get pulled over for speeding!!
a woman speeding on the highway late for work gets pulled over by a cop.
the cop asks the woman "why she was speeding"
"well, i'm late for work" she repiled
the cop asks her"well what do you do for a living that so important that you have to speed to get there?"
the woman repiles "well, im a rectom(sp) strecher(sp)"
he asks "what's that?"
she repiles "well i start out with one finger and then two and so on until i strech(sp) the rectom(sp) until he's about...ohhhh...six foot tall then we put him on the side of the road with a radar gun!"
|
|
|
|
Post by Kim on Jul 11, 2007 14:22:45 GMT -5
Kimmy...I thought of you with this one! A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!" The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?" "Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get the hell out." Mare, I love you so much! A joke with me in mind and how perfect it is! |
|
|
|
Post by xbuffyxsparrowx on Jul 14, 2007 16:27:29 GMT -5
A recent study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ, depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.
For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features.
However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with scissors lodged in his temple and duct tape over his mouth while he is on fire.
No further studies are expected.
|
|
|
|
Post by Wildcat Charli on Jul 10, 2008 12:23:31 GMT -5
Haha so true! But then again Zac Efron does it for me whenever so what does that say!?
I love these jokes!
|
|
